I am the spider killer at our house.  As the oldest male in the household, I’ve won that honour by default. 

I’m just as frightened of the 8 legged mongrels as you are, but the duty falls on me to take them out.

And so it was that we returned from a walk around the shores of Lake Tuggeranong. I was driving Luisa’s car and I pulled into the driveway at Bonython.  I was in wind-down mode as breakfast announcers tend to be at any stage after 7pm.  I was shaken out of it by a shrill scream….in fact two of them.  They came from Anna and Angela.

This could mean one of two things. Either Tuggeranong was experiencing it’s first full blown terrorist attack or there was a dirty great huntsman spider in the door cavity of that rear door.

It turns out the latter was the case.

I grew up in big spider country, in the wheatbelt of Western Australia. This was one big huntsman. Seriously, you could have thrown this guy on the barbecue. You could have sliced spider steaks of his body.  HE WAS HUGE.

I pulled off my big size 12 and strode around to the danger zone.  My shoe is always my weapon my choice in the spider wars. This would be a duel to the death.  I knew that if somehow the spider escaped and found refuge somewhere else in the car that it would never be driven again.

I’m tellin’ you now…if that spider had remained in the car, Luisa would have advertised the car online that day and sold it. I had to take him out.

My 8 legged friend was well aware of my M.O.  He remained crammed up in the door crevice knowing that I wouldn’t have a clear shot at him. I taunted him with the shoe. He panicked and brought his big frame out into the open.

I knew I had one shot at him and I made it a good one. I knew that if I didn’t get him, he’d get me.image

The shoe came down and hard and got him right on back. Perfect shot. It was over in an instant. His body fell in a crumpled mess onto the driveway.  I’m sure the ants had a feast this morning.

We haven’t come across many spiders this summer. How about you ?

Listener Mark sent me this message this morning.

Heard your comments on the radio this morning 20/1/15. Like you I am the designated spider killer at home and I also don’t like them. Have had them inside the car as they crawled out of a vent onto the dash and have even had them on the other side of the sun visor when it was turned down. But I am also a motorcyclist and I’m sure not the only one with this story.
So try to imagine you’re riding along when a huntsman crawls across the closed visor of your full face helmet. You then wipe your hand across the visor to get rid of the spider, only to discover it’s on the inside of the visor! Carefully lifting the visor and flicking the spider away you then wonder, “Wait a minute, where the hell was it when I put the helmet on?!!”
So if you see a guy anywhere who runs his hand around the inside of his helmet before putting it on it might just be me. Have a good day.