It sounds like the start of a comedy routine.

A kangaroo walks into a pharmacy and asks for contraceptive advice.

Did you hear about the Government which decided to start distributing birth control to kangaroos ?image

Of course it’s our government. They’re planning to start trials of a kangaroo fertility drug in the coming winter.

How do you give a kangaroo the pill ?

Well they’ve brainstormed this and the bright idea they’ve come up with is darts.

As soon as you say darts I have a vision of an English pub darts team having a few pints at PJ O’Reillys before heading off to Mt Taylor or Urambi Hills with darts in hand looking for roos.

Simon Corbell is the Environment Minister.  He says that the trials will target about 200 eastern grey kangaroos across 10 sites with high female populations.

How much is the trial going to cost ?

imageDon’t stress too much because it’s only going to cost half a million dollars. $530,000 to be exact. That works out to roughly $2,500 per kangaroo. Do you reckon they saw us coming before that quote ?

530k !!

We could almost have bought 2 Skywhales for that amount. We wouldn’t own either of them, but we could have paid for them, and then ignored them when the balloon festival came around.

One of my listeners this morning asked the very pertinent question of, ‘once you’ve shot a female kangaroo with a contraceptive dart, how do you know that she’s been done.’  Isn’t it possible that we could keep on shooting the same kangaroo over and over again ? At $2,500 per roo, it’s not looking cost effective.

I spoke to Carolyn Drew from Animal Liberation ACT who assures me that we don’t need to cull kangaroos.

What about those environmental scientists who’s evidence upon which we base the culls ?image

Well, Carolyn tells me that this is a conspiracy. She says that these so called environmental scientists are manufacturing data to keep themselves in work.  She also blames the evil human race for developing land for housing. How dare we ? I didn’t ask Carolyn if she’d be in favour of a ‘human cull’. I’m more than a little worried that she would.