Calling all Canberra’s criminals.  The city needs you.  Or more to the point, the city needs you to give crime a rest for a couple of months.  Do it for the good of the city

To all of the bad guys, it’s time to get on the straight and narrow to help our the Corrections Department. Think of everything that they’ve done for you.  6051

You need to just stay at home till the end of August. Don’t break into shops, don’t steal cars and for God’s sake don’t go growing any more of those cannabis plants.

Why ?

Well, we’ve run out of room in the jail.  Shane Rattenbury is the minister for crims.  He’s an ideas man is our Shane.  He had this cool idea of shuffling the excess inmates across to Symonston.  Great idea Shane…but the trouble is that the bad guys keep on doing bad things.  They keep on getting caught and the overflow jail is just about full.

I’m thinking that the Government should go down the path of offering new X Box or Playstation systems to known dominoscrims….as well as extensive paid up phone accounts with Dominos pizza. They need to encourage the bad guys to sit at home. I’d even suggest an allowance for fleecy track pants at Lowes or dare I say it, Onesies from one of the cheap shops.  We need to emphasise how bloody cold it is in the dead of winter and get these crims off the street.

Based on jail numbers, they should be OK to resume their criminal activities by mid August.